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Eighteen Years Old

Tabloid newspaper with hand-assembled art print


Photographs of broken trees and a poem written without punctuation recall the evening a gang of queer bashers set out to attack me when I was a young man out cruising alone ‘looking for a friend, for someone to hold’ in the early 1980s in Arnhem, the Netherlands. Eighteen Years Old functions as a document of violence but also as a means to pay tribute to my ‘queer saviour’ forty years later.

‘I watch as a group of men a gang of about ten come towards me from the road ahead some carry baseball bats others have clenched fists at the ready to deliver a blow’

Adopting the tabloid newspaper format to tell a personal story printed on fragile newsprint, the photographs in the publication were taken near the location of the attack at Park Zypendaal, Arnhem, the Netherlands at the onset of spring in 2024. I printed the photographs in the book on newsprint, scanned these positives then deleted the original digital files.

‘Some men need to attack to hurt to kill because they are unable to challenge the void that lies inside them to challenge the lies inside that void them that make them null and void unreal unloved lives wasted destroyed’

Published by Negative Press London, 26 October 2024.Launched at the Small Publishers Fair London. In the collection of The National Poetry Library.

Book - 16pp, 28.9cm x 37.5cm, newsprint, EU Ecolabel and FSC certified, ink free from solvents and VOCs. Artwork - FSC-certified board and Kraft stock. Glossy photograph with mono text to rear, Kraft photo corners


A spoken word version of the book was performed during the first Negative Press Artists’ Books Reading Room, CEOS 2025, London 8 June 2025. In the collection of The National Poetry Library.

Available at https://www.neg-press.com/product/eighteen-years-old


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Roelof Bakker, all rights reserved, 2025